better late than never - Hate Loss Final Week

Last Thursday I was supposed to post my final hate loss challenge, but I simply couldn't focus on it.  The threat of carrying an abnormal pregnancy, and possibly miscarrying was bad enough, but the not knowing and having to wait two more weeks just about did me in.  After making a huge effort on my part, and receiving tons of support from my love, I was able to climb out of my hole a couple of days ago.  I still have to wait until next Thursday to find out more, but at least I am not hiding under my blankets wallowing in misery. 
The final challenge was to pick one of the following: commit a random act of kindness for somebody else, or treat yourself to something special.
Originally I picked the random act of kindness, but I didn't write about it because I couldn't scrounge up the energy.  One afternoon early last week the pants pee-er champion of tantrums plodded up the stairs to see what I was doing.  (That is my new code name for my cousin's ten year old by the by)  What I was doing was moping.  What I was doing was moping and playing this ridiculous video game called Viva Pinata on the Xbox 360.  I am not a video game person by trade, and normally it takes a good amount of disturbance and upset to get me to hide away and play a dumb video game all day.  Anyway, that day was just such a day of disturbance and upset.  Well, the pants pee-er really wanted to sit in my room and watch me play it, and normally I would have just smiled and said I needed alone time, but I thought it might bring me some cheer to be extra nice, so I said ok.  I didn't agree to letting him sit on my bed, but gimme a break.  I'm not a saint.  I don't want piddle on my sheets, and I don't want to stress myself out worrying if there will be piddle on my sheets.  Sometime down the road perhaps I will elevate myself to the position of pee-soaked-sheets-saint, but I haven't hit that point yet.
Anywhoozles.  It made the kid real real happy to be able to watch me play a goofy video game.
I try to "random kindness" the boy a few times a week, because he's just so mind numbingly wacky.  Most adults can't tolerate him for long, and I try my hardest to be extra nice and patient with him.  Inspired by the challenge, I went out of my way to help him with his homework the other night.
I believe that it is important to say and do nice things for other people when they are not expecting it.  It lightens my heart to add brightness to a persons day.
And since it took me sooooooooo long to post this final challenge, I went ahead and did something nice for myself as well.  Yesterday it was fifty four degrees, and lovely, and sunny, so we decided to go to the Racine Zoo.  It is a small zoo, but I love critters and I have gone there since I was itty bitty.  What a great idea!!!  I think it really shifted my perspective, and stopped all the depressed feelings I was having.  I have been blaming myself for everything, and having so many dark and negative thoughts.  Doing something fun gave me breathing room.  I was able to relax and stop trying to control everything.
The last couple of weeks have been tough, but I am glad that I finished the challenge.  I actually would like to keep incorporating elements from the challenge into my daily routines.  The positive affirmations, acts of kindness, and self care activities are beneficial ALL year and not just for one month.